After years of working, skipping milestones, and surviving, I don’t really know what to do with this current chapter of my life. It’s… calm. Healthy. Slow. A little boring.
Saturday, I went to the Vienna Festival with some of the new friends I’ve made, a sentence that still feels new and good to say. We kicked off the afternoon at the Vienna Inn, this old-school diner that’s been around forever. They recently took all the prices off their menu. It felt like their way of saying: this place is for everyone. Don’t worry about the prices, just eat. So I did. We all did. Chili dogs, burgers, and bottomless fries. Then we headed off to the festival.
I’m not usually the kind of person who does carnival games. But my friends dared me to do every single chaotic one, and I don’t back down from a dare. I’ll try anything at least once.
So I find myself standing in front of that giant hammer game, you know the one, where you slam a mallet into a base and try to make the metal piece hit the bell. I look up at the guy running the game and say, “I don’t think I’m going to get very far… am I still getting a prize?” He just smirks and says, “Don’t worry about that.”
The hammer was significantly heavier than I am, a borderline medieval weapon. I lifted it, swung with all my might, and stumbled so hard I nearly knocked myself over. The guy gave me a quick tutorial and tried to correct my stance. I took a deep breath, tried again, and received the exact same result. Barely budged the thing. We’re talking two notches up. My arms may look toned, but I guess these noodles are only for show.
I turned around to my friends, who were filming me and cracking up, and when I turned back around, the guy handed me the biggest prize on the rack: a four-foot-tall rainbow alien. I absolutely did not deserve it. But he gave it to me anyway. And now I’m walking through the carnival with a massive alien on my back like he’s my little clingy boyfriend. He was wrapped around my body like a stage 5er, while everyone kept pointing and laughing. He was a hit.
I carried that alien around for three hours. We were inseparable. My new boyfriend and I. I now have him in my house, and I’m unsure where he lives yet. Guest bedroom? Living room mascot? Emotional support plushie? I’ll keep you posted.
Otherwise, I don’t know, life just feels a little boring right now. Not in a bad way. More like a healthy way. I’ve been growing a good group of friends. Slowly. Organically. I even turned down a gig recently, a background actor role in a music video. It wasn’t my vibe, but it still made me laugh. Like, of course, I got asked to be in a random music video when I’m trying to lay low.
What else? I’ve been writing new poetry more consistently lately. My poetry book needs to get to at least 200 finalized poems before it’s published. I still have several more notebooks of old poems to go through. Some of them are from middle school, and, as wise as I was in my early years, the emphasis on the early years sometimes shows too much. So I’ve been reworking some lines, editing others, and adding new ones when the moment hits. I have about 117 finalized right now. I would love 250, but maybe we’ll just have a second poetry collection book. Editing old poetry is like cracking open a time capsule. Some lines make me proud. Some make me want to crawl under a weighted blanket and hide. But it’s all part of the process.
Work is a little slow right now, which is kind of peaceful and kind of maddening. I’m used to sprinting. I’m used to solving things, building things, fixing things. Right now, I’ve just… rested. Taken long naps. Cleaned. Reorganized. Read books. It’s lovely. It’s strange. It’s dangerous. Because now I’m feeling the itch. That itch to do something new. Something chaotic. Something for the plot. Maybe it’s a new job. Maybe it’s a creative project. Maybe it’s buying a funny pink hat and seeing where life goes from there. I’m open to suggestions.
The truth is, I don’t really know what I want right now. I just want to have fun. I want to be more of myself every day. I want to keep learning. That’s what matters most. That’s always been the goal.
And despite the slowness, I’m still doing things. Big things, actually. I’m about to have my name on hopefully multiple patents. I’ll officially be a patented inventor. Which is wild. Being this young and holding patents is no small thing; hell, holding patents at any age is no small thing. I’ve worked hard for it, and I’m proud of where I’ve arrived.
So yeah, that’s where I’m at. (:
Life feels good right now. Calm. Slightly boring. Deeply funny. I’m happy. I’m not in survival mode. I’m not climbing out of something. I’m just… here. Living. Planning. Laughing. Writing. Carrying giant aliens around carnivals. And maybe that’s the plot twist.
xo,
Sheridan Guerrette
WhatSheridanSaid.com
Life Behind the Artist: Wed at 9/8C
