I Am Not That Girl

Personally, I am exhausted. 

My throat's a little cracky, I'm a little cracky, and my algorithm research to write something that may get more than my normal read count has dwindled drastically in motivation. 

But perhaps that is good news: that I find tailoring my words to the algorithm tiresome, that my titles and subtitles should feel poetically authentic to what I'm writing, the thinking I'd like for it to do to you, and the emotions I'd like to exude. 

I lie; my motivation for algorithm research has sincerely never been there. As those in my daily life call me 'weird,' as the most common adjective, I am quite incapable of tailoring 'me' and 'my words' to some nonsense algorithm that was designed to (understandably) manipulate you, trigger your dopamine receptors, and keep you forever on whichever platform you are seeing this on. 

So no, this isn't a piece on "The twenty things you must understand before you hit the big 30," and it won't be a piece telling you how to "Make money from your writing! How I did it and how you can too!" 

Let's be frank, I am NOT THAT GIRL. 

What will I tell you? Mostly my unhinged emotions, the drastic life decisions I continue to make as I fight for a life bigger than my own, bigger than those before me, and bigger than I could have imagined as a little girl sitting in the cornfield at 2 am alone, dreaming, looking at the stars, knowing I can be one too. 

I will tell you about how I struggle with making friends, the loneliness of choosing a career, what lying about your age just to get the job and make ends meet does to you, and how that isolation has carried throughout my twenties. I'll tell you about how I'm trying to fight against it now, unlearn bad habits, how to be okay with occasional small talk, and how to have friends that are positive to my life and well-being (still figuring this one out). 

How I spent nine months of my life, completely silent, speaking to not a soul, and what that did to my social skills, my confidence, and my life thereafter. 

I've made choices in my life, and all of them I am quite proud of, not because I love who I am today, but because I was surviving, fighting for a better life, one that motivated me, the one I dreamt of while sitting amongst the cornstalks at 2 am in southern Minnesota. 

Writing again, okay, that's a lie; I've always been writing-- but sharing my writing again (post-Tumblr virality) has given me more confidence than any of my former careers had. I know it sounds silly, but I love walking onto a set in Atlanta and having those I'm helping film a commercial, podcast, or scripted series ask me, "Who are you? I've seen you before? You are an actress, right?" or something along those lines. I love being asked where I am from, because nobody can pinpoint my accent. I love when girls stop me and tell me they love my outfit, or that my curls are sitting just perfectly. 

I went to a concert in Nashville over the weekend, and even though I don't follow the lead guitarist on Instagram, I instantly recognized him as one of my subscribers, a fan, if you will (hello sir!).  With only having roughly 800 subscribers, I've been stopped in three different cities in the past two months by strangers asking me, "Are you Sheridan??? I read everything you post!! I love you!!" 

As shameful as it may be to say for women today, I will say it anyways; I love being noticed. But I love being noticed for my writing, my art, my poetry, even more. 

Which leads me to a few changes surrounding this entire series. 

Previously, I had an automatic paywall added to any post older than four weeks. And you know what that did??? It stopped my work from being noticed!!!! 

I've removed every single paywall on all of my work across Substack and whatsheridansaid.com. You no longer need to be a paid member, or even a free subscriber, to read my poetry, my articles, my essays, or my episodes. 

And I'm quite excited. 

I don't have many paid subscribers, though I am incredibly proud of the number I have, and I'm so thankful I've been able to grow my little dramatic diary series into something much bigger. 

(P.S. I love when you send me DMs thanking me for being open and vulnerable, reminding me that my words are bigger than just little ole me)

Because I write a lot, too much, and I've been complimented a few too many times on my handwriting (cursive, it's a lost art), I couldn't think of something that was more 'me' than writing each of my paid subscribers a handwritten poem and letter every single month, that I mail directly to their door. Something more personal from me to you; no letter or poem will be the same (yes, unique to you and delivered via snail mail), vs. gatekeeping my work that I love being noticed for so much!!

That's the big news right now: there are no more paywalls on my poetry, my articles, my essays, my episodes, my articles, so that even those who don't subscribe for free can still enjoy my writing. 

To my beloved few paid subscribers: I have my stamps, my ✿ pedal-infused paper, my creativity, and my brain ready and excited to mail out my first round of letters and poems.
(Your pricing is locked at the previous $5 monthly rate, so no fret, love you ♡)

I will send letters all across the world, and to keep up with stamps, pedal-infused paper stock, and my hard work writing a unique letter and poem every month, to become a paid member or paid subscriber, it is $8 a month, or $80 a year. (Stamps are cheap, but my creativity, time, and pedal-infused paper are not.)

If you've loved any of my writing, my poetry, consider becoming a paid subscriber to receive a handwritten poem and letter specially made for you every month. It would mean the world to me.  ♡ 

Sign up here:
https://whatsheridansaid.substack.com/subscribe

Once you have checked out, you are immediately sent an email with a secure link and form to provide your mailing address.  Please know that I will never share your information and will delete any and all information at a single email or direct message via any of my online profiles. For more privacy information, click here to learn more: https://whatsheridansaid.com/privacy

I did share a new poem today; if you'd like to read it, click here:
https://whatsheridansaid.com/read/same.html

Until next Wednesday.

xo,
Sheridan Guerrette
What Sheridan Said
Life Behind the Artist: Wed at 9/8C

PS: The new platform is live!!
whatsheridansaid.com